When we talk about love, most people associate it with uncontrollable emotions. We think that the heart leads and all we can do is follow what we feel.
However, this romantic view of love is incomplete. While it's true that attraction and infatuation can come unexpectedly, real love goes much further: it is a conscious decision we make every day.
The Myth of Uncontrollable Feelings
Many people believe in the saying, "you can't control your feelings," but reality is more complex. Emotions are volatile; they can change over time if we don’t make an effort to nurture them.
When we talk about lasting love, it's not enough to rely solely on what we feel in a particular moment.
Love, like any other aspect of life, requires constant effort. This is where the decision to love comes into play, a choice that goes beyond momentary emotions.
For example, in the first few months of a relationship, everything seems perfect, and it's easy to think this feeling will last forever. But when routine sets in or conflicts arise, what keeps the couple together isn't just the initial emotion, but the daily choice to support each other and overcome challenges together.
Love as a Conscious Decision
Love, then, is more like a long-term commitment than a fleeting spark. As we mature in our relationships, we realize that it's not just about feeling, but about deciding to work on the relationship day by day.
This involves having shared goals, understanding that both partners have individual and couple projects, and that mutual respect is what will allow those projects to come to life.
A healthy relationship is like a team working in collaboration. Both partners must be aligned in their goals and values, supporting each other’s strengths and having each other’s backs during difficult times. This is where decision-making plays a key role: deciding to build something together while respecting differences.
Balancing Emotion and Rationality
While the idea of love as a decision may sound cold to some, it isn't. Choosing to love doesn’t exclude the importance of affection, attention, and passion. On the contrary, these are the elements that strengthen the daily decision to be with someone. Respect, admiration, and commitment are essential to keep that passion alive.
Think of a common scenario: after a long workday, you might not always feel like going out for dinner or watching a movie with your partner. However, by doing so, you choose to strengthen the connection, nurture the affection, and keep the spark that unites you alive. It’s a small act, but it makes a difference.
The Path to a Conscious Relationship
Finally, love goes through several stages: physical attraction, infatuation, admiration, and, ultimately, true love. This last stage is not just an emotion but the result of a series of conscious decisions we make every day.
The true strength of a relationship lies in both partners choosing to commit not just to each other, but also to the projects and goals they wish to achieve together.
Think about your current or past relationship. How many times have you found yourself faced with the dilemma of continuing to make an effort or giving in to the wear and tear of everyday life? That is the essence of conscious love: choosing love, even in the most difficult moments, and continuing to bet on a shared future.
Are You Willing to Choose Love?
Love is not just something we feel but a decision we actively make. Every day, we have the opportunity to choose to love, respect, and build a life with our partner. So, are you willing to make that decision today?
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